Dear _______

A few questions that i need to know, how u could ever hurt me so.

I need to know what ive done wrong and how long its been goin on. Was it that i never paid enough attention? Or did i not give enough affection?

Not only will ur answers keep me sane, but i'll know never to make the same mistake again.

U can tell me to my face, or even on the phone, u can write it in a letter, either way, i gotta know.

Did i never treat u right? Did i always start the fight?

Either way, im goin out of my mind, all the answers to my questions i gotta find.

What is love?

+ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 +

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
(New International Version)

愛是恆久忍耐，又有恩慈；
愛是不嫉妒；愛是不自誇，不張狂，
不做害羞的事，不求自己的益處，
不輕易發怒，不計算人的惡，
不喜歡不義，只喜歡真理；
凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。
愛是永不止息。

Love suffers long and is kind;
love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
does not behave rudely, does not seek its own,
is not provoked, thinks no evil;
does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.
(New King James Version)

一直知道，「愛是恆久忍耐」；「love is patient」。然後有一次，聽到是，比較接近原文的譯釋是，「love suffers long」。嗯，要恆久忍耐就是要 suffers long 吧。

從來都知道，愛，不是件容易的事情。我想，我是自私的吧。好怕去愛；怕自己做得不夠好。怕要受苦，就想逃跑掉。但，如果決定要去愛了，那就要盡全力，持守到底，對吧?

這段聖經，熟到可以背出來。但我又真正領悟到多少呢? 今日想起，然後好想自己再細心地一字一字牢記著。

要懂得去愛，才不至於失去所愛的吧。

where love must start

"It is easy to love the people far away.

It is not always easy to love those close to us.

It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home.

Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start."

~ Mother Theresa

So let our love begin at where i should be

Reply an article --- 寂寞

明月樓高休獨倚
一個人大到咁上下
沒有女友或老婆是件好慘的事
因為朋友陪不得你咁多
朋友之間的聯絡
密極有限
其實就算係女友或老婆
都無話時時可以陪到你

有時候呢種寂寞來襲
真係唔係話可以看看書睇睇碟聽聽唱片
做做這些一個人做得來的消遣可以鎮得住
就像感冒吃了藥不再涕淚交橫
可是三四小時後藥力過了
依然如故
就算有身邊人在旁相伴
那種寂寞仍然揮之不去

而我這個慣於孤獨的人
自從端午到離島回來以後
竟然覺得好寂寞
無以排遣的寂寞
無人可訴的寂寞

密切不同於熟絡
熟絡不等於相近
日久多見容或會熟
但不一定近
而近也不一定密切

比如OT完畢放工好累的時候
有熟到爛的人打電話來
你可能反而覺得係應酬
多了一重負荷
而另一個唔係真係熟到咁咩的人
你一聽到他的聲音
可能會雀躍起來
精神為之一振
(或者現實點講
是你很重視他
而這種重視
又只是單向的)

熟絡的人不一定近
近的人不一定密切
即如連續一段短的時間內
他跟你聯絡了幾次以後
就算他近得差不多觸到你的心
你還是有種逼狹的感覺
覺得密過頭
而密切程度
就反映在可舒服地聯絡的time scale上

而我的朋友
time scale都以月計
這就是孤僻的結果

秋風多
雨如和
簾外芭蕉三兩棵
夜長人奈何

寂寞﹐不是因為孤獨。
孤獨﹐是不會寂寞的。

若寂寞來襲﹐不孤獨時比孤獨時更顯寂寞。
當喧譁過後﹐寂寞會更赤裸地站在你跟前。

那時的寂寞﹐會更孤單﹐更難熬。
所以﹐寂寞來襲時﹐會更想孤獨。

寂寞﹐是自身的問題﹐
旁人﹐是不能幫忙的。

喜歡孤獨的人﹐多都不是寂寞之人。
害怕孤獨的人﹐才是寂寞而不自知。

寂寞﹐是不會因人多而離你而去。
孤獨﹐才是把寂寞揮去的好機會。

請不要把兩者混淆了。
不要把寂寞誤為孤獨。

我不喜歡寂寞的感覺﹐
但我享受孤獨一人時。

一生一世

Dear K, R, M, J

找個一生一世的伴侶固然難，原來一生一世的朋友也不易。

曾經，有過不少推心置腹的朋友。那種親密關係，其時是不會想到，原來是有期限的。曾經很介懷到了期的情誼。但慢慢就明白到，原來大部分的人，在我們生命中都只不過是過客。如果，他們的出現 — 縱然短暫，但 — 還是讓我們對生命有所領悟；那，又有甚麼值得傷感的呢。

如是這，我常這樣對自己說。


或許，有一天，當有人要從我的生命走遠；我會笑一笑，揮揮手；心只存感謝，那人曾陪伴過我的日子。

然而，現實中的我，仍未能如此瀟灑。心中那絲絲憂傷，沒法遮蓋。

原來我，還在乎；還懼怕。懼怕失去那不是一生一世的東西。

Truly yours,

RÊVER

冷。靜

如果

四周的空氣是冰
那我們的情
也跟著冷卻成形

如果
你還未懂得冷靜
那我們的情
就永遠也談不成

Life is always "mo loi"

我認識有些人，我真的覺得他們作狀到不得了。好受不住。但偏偏就有互相認識的人，會認為他們是很好很真誠的人。我常被這種事困惑著；把頭想爆了也想不出一點頭緒來。

然後剛剛我忽然頭頂有了亮光：其實，我成日覺得自己(懶)是真誠的，但很可能在別人的眼裡，我也只不過是個虛假小人。

He loves me

You said that I wasn't good, so I just believed you. And you said that I wasn't special, so I lived that way, with critical gazes and brutal amazement, at how my reflection could be so imperfect. With all of my blemishes, how could somebody want me?

But he loves silly. He doesn't see the way I see. He takes silly and turns it into something that is wonderful, apparently I'm good cause you love me.

I tried to clean up the outside, all shiny and new. Worked overtime to thin up and look right but inside. I knew that deep in the bottom were secrets, I thought I could try to ignore. Old ghosts in my corridors never get tired of haunting the past that's in me.

Help me believe why you love me, when I know you see everything.

Yes, God loves silly, he doesn't see the way I see.

謊 言

~李蕊詩 摘自《貞萃》

是你告訴我
明月靜夜尋找我
但在星光點綴的深夜裡
你離開了我

是你告訴我
千言萬語你愛我
但在自私糊塗的世界裡
你丟下了我

是你告訴我
天涯海角想著我
但在海蕩樹影的靜夜裡
你忘掉了我

是你告訴我
海枯石爛伴著我
但在天鶴星河的霧雨裡
你棄掉了我

今生緣定是你意
偶遇情緣是我意
忘了你情
不是我！
忘了我意
卻是你！

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

三年前，我第一次接觸這詩，
記憶至今，難以忘懷，
只因，動人心弦

dont let me go

I say things that I don’t mean
You look at me like I’m crazy
And baby, sometimes I am
There’s a side of me that wants to run
As soon as I get close enough to love,
To touch it with my hands

I start feeling smothered
Start to head for cover
‘cause the only thing
I know about this feeling
Is eventually it hurts like hell
I know that pain a little too well
But I think you’re different somehow…

Baby don’t let me go
My restless side might put up a fight

I know I wanna stay with you
But my feet are set on walking out
My hands are shaking reaching for the door
I hate this fear that teases me
It makes my heavy heart believe
That I just shouldn’t be here anymore

Baby, hold me down
Please, put your arms around me
Right now I need to feel like I am safe
‘Cause my memories are haunted
But you’re all I’ve ever wanted
Don’t give me have a chance to break away

Close that door that I swung open
With those stupid words that fell out of my mouth
I wasn’t thinkin’ straight at all
The only thing I know for sure is
This is where I belong

What does "broken heart" mean?

Close your eyes the suns about to rise
and you're not with me falling thru these skies
the ground is getting closer we wont hit for a while
i'll hold your photograph to replace your touch tonight
you know you bleed a little when your heart breaks
so take some time and save some face
and keeping quiet is your worst revenge
you know i hate this place

it doesnt matter what you did that day
its what you thought the night you threw yourself away
it doesnt matter how messed up you are
it doesnt matter but hey thanks for the scar

you pour the wine and i'll light the candles
i'd give my life to see you in that dress
quick take a picture as you're looking cute now
oh holy god you're just so scandalous

who am i supposed to love

I've been alone too long
Wondering how to go on
Without you here by my side
So many lonely nights
Only memories keeping me alive

It never crossed my mind
So much would take me to you and I
I could have known you wouldn't stay
Now it's a lonely day
It used to be your love lifting me away

I can't go on now that you're gone
I feel this emptiness
If it's not you I'm thinking of
If it's not you - who am I supposed to love

Nobody stands in your place
I can't see another's face
Only a trace of what I knew
Only a shadow
I can't picture anyone but you

I should have known, something so strong
Couldn't go on and last forever
If it's not you, who am I supposed to love

Now just a trace of what I knew
Only a shadow
I can't picture anyone but you

Out of my mind

You look like the afternoon
When you wake at 6 in the morning
Ready right then, and we're kids again
You look like a sunny day
When I look outside and it's storming
When you look at me
And blink so slowly

Everything you do makes it easy to fall in love with you
Now, now. don't give me the run-around
With everything you do I just can't seem to get over you honey
Now, now, don't give me the run-around

I love when she writes for me
And she doesn't even play the piano
She plays it so good, better than I could
Our love gets better everyday
With every touch and sound that your voice makes
How did we get here?
iI's better than last year

So tell me now, tell me how I got so lucky, my dear

Don't think twice
Don't ask why
We have got to do these crazy things sometimes
We'll be fine, just realize that everything's alright
We are out of our minds

A letter to ...

My dear xxx,

There's a few questions that I need to know

how you could ever hurt me so
I need to know what I've done wrong
and how long it's been going on
Was it that I never paid enough attention?
Or did I not give enough affection?
Not only will your answers keep me sane
but I'll know never to make the same mistake again
You can tell me to my face or even on the phone
You can write it in a letter, a sms, a mail either way, I have to know
Did I never treat you right?
Did I always start the fight?
Either way, I'm going out of my mind
all the answers to my questions
I have to find

Love

ADORER_RÊVER

just tell me

I wanna know what you're thinking

There are some things you can't hide

I wanna know what you're feeling

Tell me what's on you mind

Here i am in silence

Looking round without a clue

I find myself along again

All alone with you

I can see behind your eyes

The things that i don't know

If you hide away from me

How can our love grow?

 I know I could break you down

But what good would it do?

I could surely never know what you say is true.

What you're feeling.
Tell me what's on your mind.

I wanna see U again

I wanna see you again.
I don't care where and I don't care when.
I wanna see you again,
'cause this beginning will have no end.
Bring your whips, bring your chains.
We can exchange names.

I wanna see you again.
I feel a feeling since I don't know when.
I wanna see you again,
so you can know you have a friend.
You're so passive.
I'm filled with wrath.
We could take a bath.

Oh, there's talk of the lights in Causeway Bay
and hearts intwining high above,
and if, frankly, we'll see things my way,
we will climb the heights of love.

I wanna see you again.
It doesn't matter where or when.
Perfect love.
Cast out fear.
Let me buy you a beer.

I wanna see you again.

cant wait for tomorrow

I know you're standing there
Trying to say the words
You took so long to prepare
But I laugh, pretending I don't see
Cause I don't wanna hear
What you got to say to me

Can't it wait until tomorrow
Before you bring me the showers
Can't it wait until tomorrow
Give me 24 more hours

I 've seen it coming for quite sometime now
Don't you know I've tried to stop it
In every way I know how
And I know it's hard for you
As it is for me
So listen to my heart
Begging desperately

Cant wait to see U

When I go, will my mother know?
Will my brother know I tried?
Will the government send them my old pens
And the letters I tried to write?

Will my dad as he cries all night
Will he still believe we're right?
As I'm drinking blood from a silver cup
With these men who chose to die

When I go will my mother cry?
Will my brother want to die?
As I'm drinking up an amber stout
With this god I've heard so much about

When I go will you be ashamed?
Will you still recall my name with pain?
Can't wait to see you hang
See you hang

So blue without U

After what I said, I'm sorry
Can't believe I said we're through
Don't know what got into me
Guess I'm just a crazy fool

Saw you standing by his side,
Giving him your sexy smile,
Lost my temper
Lost my mind
Guess I'm just a jealous guy

Oh, baby I'm so blue without you
Forgive me
'Cause I don't wanna lose you
And I don't know what to do
I want you back I'm so in love with you

If I don't see you again
I'll regret it till the end
So I hope you'll understand
I just wanna be your only homme

So I sit here and pray
Get on the phone
Call me today

U know, im gonna leave

People say you run around, I don't even care
I could never hold you down, I don't even dare
I just wanna play your game, no matter what the rules
I've met an awful lot of dames, but not quite as bad as you

Let me try to love you, I know I could
One night to hold you just ain't no good

I don't wanna leave you, I don't wanna go
Can't you see I need you? I need you so

I will be your doctor, I'll make you feel alright
I've got something to keep you warm, on a cold and lonely night
Now turn out the light
I will never tie you down, 'cause I know you wanna be free
So free
Say you'll let me come around, say you wanna be with me
Oh, please

I don't wanna leave you, I don't wanna go

But I must leave